Horseracing Jokes: The Horse Punter A horse walked up to the racetrack betting window and plopped his money down. "I want to bet fifty pounds on myself to win the fifth race," said the horse. "I don't believe it!" said the astonished clerk. "You don't believe what?", said the horse, "That I can talk?" "No", replied the clerk, "You don't stand a chance of winning the fifth race.